Recently, I attended the book launch tour of Jess Stuart’s new book Burnout to Brilliance which caused a few alarm bells to ring.
Here’s why…
I’ve been struggling. Not an easy thing to admit but I have. Over the past five months, I’ve been annihilated by Covid, and it took forever to feel even slightly better, only to be hit by the season’s flu and it wiped me out (like a beginner surfer, I found myself floundering for air) as it activated numerous secondary infections etc. I’m not sure if you have tried to see your GP recently but it is a mission in tenacity – needless to say, I was left to my own devices (my family call these my hippy or witchy woo ways).
I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t cope with illness burnout, the expectations to run a successful business, be an attentive wife and be involved second mum to three, very busy tweenagers! Something had got to give.
I’ve been mindful of my energy management for months, however, now I was faced with the long-term effects of an illness that doesn’t have enough research to know how long I will feel like this, so I had to become far more intentional.
So firstly, I set about getting further medical advice – which I had a CT scan last week (slightly, okay I was very nervous!) and secondly, I created space.
Space in my day to simply sit with nothing to do but be present and in the moment. Why? Well, it is when we are at our clearest and if you have suffered from the brain fog Covid gifts you, then you’ll be nodding your head in agreement. By intentionally adding this space to my day, I can allow the thoughts and feelings (lots of resistance) to swirl around and exit or I can take note of the things that repeat themselves and write them down (again, a trusted method of trying to retain order when your train of thought evaporates within a second) to explore them later.
By capping my work hours (big shout out to my lovely, compassionate clients) and including gentle walks and restorative yoga, practising energy audits (thanks, Jess!) to check my ‘fuel gauge’ I can still enjoy life, however slowly it is now.
So, by slowing down, I will eventually speed up again. And by speeding up, I don’t mean going guns blazing until I burn out again, not at all, my awareness has shifted, and I can’t be superwoman if my tank is empty.
My focus is on healing and being of service, but on my terms.
With gratitude,
Katie